[Somewhere in the back of his mind, Chishiya can admit to having missed this. That he's missed this since the second they stopped the last time.
That he spends entirely too much time thinking about it. About how Logan feels, how every shallow kiss makes his breath hitch with longing and how the warm thigs pressed against his makes fire lick slowly up his spine to set his mildly intoxicated brain on fire.
The whiskey dulls the parts of him that sinks in to the grey, that wants to stay disconnected and floating above it all. It lets him feel it, every teasing peck that makes his throat feel tight and every brush of Logan's mouth that makes him want more.
Chishiya's mouth skates across Logan's mouth, to trail wet, sloppy kisses over his cheeks and down the side of his neck, dragging his teeth over the hard slope of muscle with a soft groan.]
[Teeth scrape across his neck and Logan gasps, tilting his head away to give Chishiya more skin. His back arches to press against the man on top of him, fingers tightening in their grip.]
Chishiya...
[Then his fingers relax and his hands move, settling on Chishiya's hips. Keeping them steady as he shifts, pressing up against Chishiya.
He missed Chishiya too. He's been trying to be polite. Proper. Understanding. He's not used to that involving getting hot and heavy.]
Are you sure you want this right now?
[Logan barely knows why he's asking. Distracted, eyes glazed over at the sensation of Chishiya's lips on him.]
[Logan moves like a slow wave under him and Chishiya rises with it, thighs clamping tight around Logan's hips as he slides an inch closer. Until they're pressed as close s they possibly could be at his center of gravity and Chishiya huffs a small laugh over the skin near his lips.]
We don't have to do anything more than this.
[Kissing. Being kisses. Skin against his mouth as he peppers more kisses up Logan' neck neck. Tongue curling around an earlobe.]
Feeling you is enough.
[The slow-burn of 'almost enough'. Where every shift of his hips brings them closer together to feed the fire in his stomach.]
[Logan hums, letting the fretting thoughts of not being able to keep it to just this, or if that's what Chishiya wants, fade away. The tongue tickling his ear is far too distracting. The small parting and then pressure of each shift of their hips is too distracting.
His fingers curl again, and he turns his head to brush his nose against Chishiya's neck. Close to a kiss, but not quite.]
Can you come here after every shift? So we can drink... and feel each other...
[Like the way Chishiya's eyelashes tickle Logan's cheek. Or the heat of his breathing against Logan's skin.]
However we want to.
[Logan inhales slowly, deeply, running his hands up Chishiya's back and then down along his thighs.]
The weight of each other, the clothes we wear, the body beneath those clothes... [He kisses Chishiya's neck.] How soft your skin is, your hair... I can't pick just one way.
Mmm - [It's a low hum and it catches in his throat, head tilting to give Logan more room on his neck.
In return, Chishiya tightens his hand in Logan's hair.]
We have time for more than one way. [Slow exploration and Chishiya smiles, eyes closing as his free hand finds its way to the open collar of Logan's shirt, the back of his fingers brushing over the exposed skin and up to linger near the spot where Logan's pulse is close enough to the surface for him to feel it.
A steady beat, hammering as hard as his own heartbeat.] If I come over more often. Or if you come to mine. If it wasn't a risk every time right now.
[The chuckle Chishiya wants to let out is cut short as soon as he feels teeth on his throat and it stutters out like a soft moan instead.]
Don't take risks. [Even if Chishiya coming here was a calculated one. That he wasn't in deep enough yet, that no one had noticed anything different about him as soon as the child was moved to the recovery ward.
When he didn't have to keep pretending to care more than he actually did.
The whispers never stopped, but they did move on. To Komiko's new boyfriend, to the newest addition to the surgical team and the fresh-faced medical students two floors down. Even if attention slipped away from him and on to more exciting gossip. It would still cling to him for years.
He tips his head down to look back at Logan once the kissing stops-]
We already are.
[And he pops open the next button on Logan's shirt.]
[Don't take risks, Chishiya says. As if it's that simple. As if he doesn't constantly think about how to arrange 'accidental' meetups, or how to sneak over to Chishiya's apartment without being seen.
As if he doesn't want to keep Chishiya here in his arms forever.
The soft pop of the button, and Chishiya's unwavering gaze, sends fire rolling through Logan. This time when he kisses Chishiya it's hard and insistent, no longer pulling away to tease or draw things out.
All desire to take things slow melts away when he sees Chishiya's eyes, dark, beautiful, and full of want. His hands pull Chishiya closer, hips tight against each other. Doing everything he can to show what he wants to say, if his mouth weren't preoccupied with Chishiya's.]
[Chishiya's hips roll of their own accord, slow and tight, pressing them together and creating the most delicious friction that burns up his spine and sets the back of his neck on fire.
Heat, flickering across his skin and Chishiya cups Logan's face in his hands, thumbs brushing over his ears. Kissing back like oxygen is a choice and kissing Logan isn't, pushing every time he's wanted to do this in the past week, and couldn't, in to the longing of it.
Hard and deep, tongue licking in to Logan's mouth to chase the taste of wine.]
[Logan groans each time Chishiya rolls his hips, digging his fingers into the flesh of Chishiya's ass.
He sucks on Chishiya's tongue, meeting it with his own. Breathing hard through his nose so he doesn't have to break the connection.
This is so long overdue. In the grand scheme of things, they've barely spent any time apart, but it's still been excruciating. Chishiya has become an essential part of his life, as necessary as food or water, but far more desired.]
[Every sound Logan makes hits like a punch, or another drink, and Chishiya's head spins with it. With absence and with having Logan right where he wants him; under him, in a couch that won't make their spins hurt or legs go numb after a prolonged period of time.
Has him right in his hands and under his slowly rolling hips and Chishiya sighs in to the kiss, a heavy exhale that skates over Logan's mouth as he breaks the kiss enough to drag air in to his lungs.
Panting, Chishiya turns Logan's face up to meet his waiting mouth again, to kiss him through the gasps and small sounds Chishiya can't help making.]
[In that moment Chishiya pauses to breathe, Logan sighs, so that he's breathless with the next kiss.]
I missed you.
[Between heated, needy kisses.]
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
[He was worried. Wondering if the last time he saw Chishiya would be the last time they were alone together. Or if the last time he heard his voice would be the last time Chishiya spoke to him.
These things aren't said aloud, but the drive Logan to kiss harder, deeper. As if to reassure him that Chishiya really is here.]
[While Chishiya doesn't quite know what they're doing, he knows enough to know that they're something. That Logan was the person he raced to when the letter came and Logan was the one he remembered gossip for.
That there was a part, small and flickering, that looked forward to Sakura this year, because Logan picked a snow globe with a blossoming tree in it.
That hus heart flips in his chest at Logan's quiet words, murmured against his mouth and into kisses that steal his breath away.]
I've thought about you, too.
[Memories and plans they've made, how it might go. Who they might be on a trip and how dating had been.
Expectations that Chishiya hadn't even finished formulating in his head before Logan had exceeded them.
He kisses back, one hand moving to the nape of Logan's neck as the other drops to his chest, fingers splayed over his heart.]
[Logan's heart pounds, his pulse having picked up at Chishiya's touch, at the thought of not being able to be with him for even a moment.
Having feelings barely contained is becoming a common occurrence with Chishiya. From his heart determined to break through his chest, to its impossible aching when they're apart. Or the yearning to keep Chishiya close that he knows he can't act on all the time. The desire to ask him to move in, to stay with him, to be part of his life.
All Logan can do to express these things is to kiss Chishiya, to hold him, to move against him. It makes his kisses take on a feverish edge, and his his hands move, sliding under Chishiya's top to seek out skin, to seek out closeness.]
I wanted to call you all the time. Everything made me think of you.
[Small smiles on people that didn't have anything on Chishiya's. Desserts and sweets he wished he could take to Chishiya. Seeing someone standing with their hands in their pockets...
Logan kisses deeper. He really did miss Chishiya.]
[It tastes like truth on his tongue, and Chishiya can't stop the smile that cracks across his face. It pulls his lips up and crinkles at the corner of his closed eyes.
It makes kissing harder, to keep up with frantic, frenetic energy that Logan licks into his mouth as everything heats up. Pleasure crackles through every nerve ending and flashes fire down his spine, making Chishiya's skin slippery with sweat.
The only answer is a low moan wrenching its way out of his mouth as Chishiya kisses back, grinding down as he pops open another button.]
Told you- [Between one kiss and the next, all of them blurring together between gasping breaths of air] best seat in the house.
[The slow press against each other and the even slower removal of clothing is almost unbearable. Another button which tips him from relaxed to a state of undress, sending a column of fire through him.
And that's not even taking into account Chishiya's moans, or his teasing. Logan's brow furrowing against the situation that so quickly changed from flirty to deeply arousing.
He moans into the kisses he returns, panting between each one, barely thinking about his words.] It's yours... Only for you... Always for you.
[He almost challenges that, to make Logan think more carefully about making promises. Just as he should be careful with questions.
But the urge fades, buried in kisses and against Logan's firm hands against his back. A hold Chishiya can lean back in to as he pulls back enough to watch Logan's pretty face - flushed and kissed-red, the way his chest heaves against Chishiya's with every hurried gasp.
Chishiya missed this too.
This time, he grinds forward slowly and with purpose, watching Logan from inches away. With his heart racing and his hand combing through Logan's hair as he opens yet another button with a grin.]
[After everything he's been though, after everything Chishiya's been through, this is too wonderful. It's so undeservedly normal and perfect. Holding someone he cares about so incredibly deeply in his arms and looking into his perfect eyes.
Another roll, another button. Slow friction, slow nakedness. Logan's eyes flutter as he gasps through the combination, mouth gaping between the desire to kiss and compliment.]
Avo, I— [Love you.] want you.
[He's far from put together now, slicked back hair falling apart with each stroke of Chishiya's fingers, shirt almost entire undone.]
You're so beautiful. So wonderful... [He presses against Chishiya's hands to steal a kiss, sucking on his lower lip.] And you taste so sweet.
[It comes so easily to Logan, Chishiya thinks, to say words out loud. To make statements that shivers down Chishiya's spine with sweetness. That sounds equal parts like compliments and like he can't help saying it.
It's sweet.
Powdered-sugar sweet and it drips from Logan's mouth to land like sticky strands in the small, warm space between them.
A space that narrows every time either of them lean closer for kisses, or like Chishiya, getting closer to rub his flushed face against Logan's before he kisses him back just as hard.]
Honey- [He gets the word past his trembling lips, burning with longing] That's the honey.
[It's everything else too. It's how wonderful Logan feels and it's the words he says, it's the urgency in every touch he's given and in how Chishiya doesn't want to look away.
Eyes open and darting over Logan's face to take in the breathtaking picture he makes, shirt undone and hair mussed by Chishiya's fingers.
Words are not easy. And Chishiya holds still eventhough he wants to keep circling his hips and stoke the fire higher. He stills and holds Logan's face in his hand-]
I don't want, I never did. Just you, it's only you.
[They've spoken before about their different approaches. About how Chishiya only believes action, and so Logan tries to express each feeling just as strongly in what he does as what he says. About how Logan values what is said so deeply that Chishiya tries to speak even when it doesn't come naturally to him.
Right now, a firm grip on Logan's face, eyes locked, Chishiya says all the most perfect words. Words that are honest, are his own, but come closer to echoing Logan's own feelings than he ever thought would happen.
Chishiya gives him perfect words, Logan must answer with action.
If the slight widening of his eyes or the furrow of his brow as he's charmed aren't enough, Logan wraps his arms around Chishiya tightly and kisses him. Lips meet roughly and he kisses deeply, but not for long. No, he shifts Chishiya off of him just enough so that he can slide to the edge of the couch, allowing him to lift Chishiya when he stands.
They've spent enough time on the couch. Logan needs them in his bedroom, and he needs to kiss Chishiya the whole way there.
[The stillness only last long enough for his words to land, for Logan to scrunch his eyebrows and Chishiya takes half a breath before he's pulled in. His hand tightens around Logan's jaw, fingers spread wide to across his cheek.
The kiss burns, heat exploding outward until Chishiya tries to take a shuddering breath and fails, until Logan moves him - moves them- and the arms around him goes tighter as he's lifted clear off the couch.
Chishiya wraps his arms and legs around Logan on instinct, hard cock trapped between their bodies as Logan walks them... somewhere. It doesn't matter.
All that matters is Logan's mouth on his and the way desire soars through his mind at the easy way Logan carries him away.]
That's still- [Just before they reach the bed, before Logan gets a chance to put him down] so hot-
[Chishiya doesn't squirm, but he wants to. He wants to figure out if there's a way to have sex like this, or if Logan would just hold him against a wall and let Chishiya grind against his firm stomach until he comes.
Whiskey in his blood and nothing but Logan on his mind, Chishiya groans as he hits the bed, back arching.]
[There is no better incentive to keep up weight training than to be able to lift Chishiya to his bed. To be able to put him down on the covers and watch him twist against the soft sheets.]
You're so hot, [Logan counters as he crawls on top of Chishiya.] You're so gorgeous. [Kissing along Chishiya's collar and neck.] The way you look at me...
[It's enough to make Logan kiss Chishiya hungrily. His hands slip under Chishiya's top just to feel his body properly.]
[Chishiya blinks. How does he look at Logan? Like he wants to lick him all over? Or kiss him? Or hold him down and do all the things they've ever talked about doing but haven't yet?
Like he's the exception to every rule Chishiya has made for himself since was old enough to create bounderies and enforce them?
It's not important enough to stop what they're doing to ask and he acrches in to Logan's hands and tangles his fingers in to the already wild hair until he can kiss Logan again.
Until he push his want in to every wet, sloppy kiss to Logan's perfect mouth.]
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That he spends entirely too much time thinking about it. About how Logan feels, how every shallow kiss makes his breath hitch with longing and how the warm thigs pressed against his makes fire lick slowly up his spine to set his mildly intoxicated brain on fire.
The whiskey dulls the parts of him that sinks in to the grey, that wants to stay disconnected and floating above it all. It lets him feel it, every teasing peck that makes his throat feel tight and every brush of Logan's mouth that makes him want more.
Chishiya's mouth skates across Logan's mouth, to trail wet, sloppy kisses over his cheeks and down the side of his neck, dragging his teeth over the hard slope of muscle with a soft groan.]
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Chishiya...
[Then his fingers relax and his hands move, settling on Chishiya's hips. Keeping them steady as he shifts, pressing up against Chishiya.
He missed Chishiya too. He's been trying to be polite. Proper. Understanding. He's not used to that involving getting hot and heavy.]
Are you sure you want this right now?
[Logan barely knows why he's asking. Distracted, eyes glazed over at the sensation of Chishiya's lips on him.]
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We don't have to do anything more than this.
[Kissing. Being kisses. Skin against his mouth as he peppers more kisses up Logan' neck neck. Tongue curling around an earlobe.]
Feeling you is enough.
[The slow-burn of 'almost enough'. Where every shift of his hips brings them closer together to feed the fire in his stomach.]
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His fingers curl again, and he turns his head to brush his nose against Chishiya's neck. Close to a kiss, but not quite.]
Can you come here after every shift? So we can drink... and feel each other...
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I can't drink the day before a shift.
[Shifts are hard enough without adding a potential hangover in to the mix. He's only drinking now because he's got nowhere to be tomorrow.
He smiles against Logan's cheek, close enough that he can feel his eyelashes catching against his face.]
Feel each other how?
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[Like the way Chishiya's eyelashes tickle Logan's cheek. Or the heat of his breathing against Logan's skin.]
However we want to.
[Logan inhales slowly, deeply, running his hands up Chishiya's back and then down along his thighs.]
The weight of each other, the clothes we wear, the body beneath those clothes... [He kisses Chishiya's neck.] How soft your skin is, your hair... I can't pick just one way.
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In return, Chishiya tightens his hand in Logan's hair.]
We have time for more than one way. [Slow exploration and Chishiya smiles, eyes closing as his free hand finds its way to the open collar of Logan's shirt, the back of his fingers brushing over the exposed skin and up to linger near the spot where Logan's pulse is close enough to the surface for him to feel it.
A steady beat, hammering as hard as his own heartbeat.] If I come over more often. Or if you come to mine. If it wasn't a risk every time right now.
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That gentle touch across his collar makes Logan's heart ache beautifully.]
You make me want to take risks. [The slow scratch of teeth in a bite that isn't quite taken, and then a kiss instead.] But we can't.
[With a slow inhale, he straightens to look at Chishiya.] That means we should make the most of the time we do have together, doesn't it?
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Don't take risks. [Even if Chishiya coming here was a calculated one. That he wasn't in deep enough yet, that no one had noticed anything different about him as soon as the child was moved to the recovery ward.
When he didn't have to keep pretending to care more than he actually did.
The whispers never stopped, but they did move on. To Komiko's new boyfriend, to the newest addition to the surgical team and the fresh-faced medical students two floors down. Even if attention slipped away from him and on to more exciting gossip. It would still cling to him for years.
He tips his head down to look back at Logan once the kissing stops-]
We already are.
[And he pops open the next button on Logan's shirt.]
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As if he doesn't want to keep Chishiya here in his arms forever.
The soft pop of the button, and Chishiya's unwavering gaze, sends fire rolling through Logan. This time when he kisses Chishiya it's hard and insistent, no longer pulling away to tease or draw things out.
All desire to take things slow melts away when he sees Chishiya's eyes, dark, beautiful, and full of want. His hands pull Chishiya closer, hips tight against each other. Doing everything he can to show what he wants to say, if his mouth weren't preoccupied with Chishiya's.]
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Heat, flickering across his skin and Chishiya cups Logan's face in his hands, thumbs brushing over his ears. Kissing back like oxygen is a choice and kissing Logan isn't, pushing every time he's wanted to do this in the past week, and couldn't, in to the longing of it.
Hard and deep, tongue licking in to Logan's mouth to chase the taste of wine.]
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He sucks on Chishiya's tongue, meeting it with his own. Breathing hard through his nose so he doesn't have to break the connection.
This is so long overdue. In the grand scheme of things, they've barely spent any time apart, but it's still been excruciating. Chishiya has become an essential part of his life, as necessary as food or water, but far more desired.]
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Has him right in his hands and under his slowly rolling hips and Chishiya sighs in to the kiss, a heavy exhale that skates over Logan's mouth as he breaks the kiss enough to drag air in to his lungs.
Panting, Chishiya turns Logan's face up to meet his waiting mouth again, to kiss him through the gasps and small sounds Chishiya can't help making.]
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I missed you.
[Between heated, needy kisses.]
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
[He was worried. Wondering if the last time he saw Chishiya would be the last time they were alone together. Or if the last time he heard his voice would be the last time Chishiya spoke to him.
These things aren't said aloud, but the drive Logan to kiss harder, deeper. As if to reassure him that Chishiya really is here.]
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That there was a part, small and flickering, that looked forward to Sakura this year, because Logan picked a snow globe with a blossoming tree in it.
That hus heart flips in his chest at Logan's quiet words, murmured against his mouth and into kisses that steal his breath away.]
I've thought about you, too.
[Memories and plans they've made, how it might go. Who they might be on a trip and how dating had been.
Expectations that Chishiya hadn't even finished formulating in his head before Logan had exceeded them.
He kisses back, one hand moving to the nape of Logan's neck as the other drops to his chest, fingers splayed over his heart.]
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Having feelings barely contained is becoming a common occurrence with Chishiya. From his heart determined to break through his chest, to its impossible aching when they're apart. Or the yearning to keep Chishiya close that he knows he can't act on all the time. The desire to ask him to move in, to stay with him, to be part of his life.
All Logan can do to express these things is to kiss Chishiya, to hold him, to move against him. It makes his kisses take on a feverish edge, and his his hands move, sliding under Chishiya's top to seek out skin, to seek out closeness.]
I wanted to call you all the time. Everything made me think of you.
[Small smiles on people that didn't have anything on Chishiya's. Desserts and sweets he wished he could take to Chishiya. Seeing someone standing with their hands in their pockets...
Logan kisses deeper. He really did miss Chishiya.]
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It makes kissing harder, to keep up with frantic, frenetic energy that Logan licks into his mouth as everything heats up. Pleasure crackles through every nerve ending and flashes fire down his spine, making Chishiya's skin slippery with sweat.
The only answer is a low moan wrenching its way out of his mouth as Chishiya kisses back, grinding down as he pops open another button.]
Told you- [Between one kiss and the next, all of them blurring together between gasping breaths of air] best seat in the house.
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And that's not even taking into account Chishiya's moans, or his teasing. Logan's brow furrowing against the situation that so quickly changed from flirty to deeply arousing.
He moans into the kisses he returns, panting between each one, barely thinking about his words.] It's yours... Only for you... Always for you.
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But the urge fades, buried in kisses and against Logan's firm hands against his back. A hold Chishiya can lean back in to as he pulls back enough to watch Logan's pretty face - flushed and kissed-red, the way his chest heaves against Chishiya's with every hurried gasp.
Chishiya missed this too.
This time, he grinds forward slowly and with purpose, watching Logan from inches away. With his heart racing and his hand combing through Logan's hair as he opens yet another button with a grin.]
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Another roll, another button. Slow friction, slow nakedness. Logan's eyes flutter as he gasps through the combination, mouth gaping between the desire to kiss and compliment.]
Avo, I— [Love you.] want you.
[He's far from put together now, slicked back hair falling apart with each stroke of Chishiya's fingers, shirt almost entire undone.]
You're so beautiful. So wonderful... [He presses against Chishiya's hands to steal a kiss, sucking on his lower lip.] And you taste so sweet.
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It's sweet.
Powdered-sugar sweet and it drips from Logan's mouth to land like sticky strands in the small, warm space between them.
A space that narrows every time either of them lean closer for kisses, or like Chishiya, getting closer to rub his flushed face against Logan's before he kisses him back just as hard.]
Honey- [He gets the word past his trembling lips, burning with longing] That's the honey.
[It's everything else too. It's how wonderful Logan feels and it's the words he says, it's the urgency in every touch he's given and in how Chishiya doesn't want to look away.
Eyes open and darting over Logan's face to take in the breathtaking picture he makes, shirt undone and hair mussed by Chishiya's fingers.
Words are not easy. And Chishiya holds still eventhough he wants to keep circling his hips and stoke the fire higher. He stills and holds Logan's face in his hand-]
I don't want, I never did. Just you, it's only you.
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Right now, a firm grip on Logan's face, eyes locked, Chishiya says all the most perfect words. Words that are honest, are his own, but come closer to echoing Logan's own feelings than he ever thought would happen.
Chishiya gives him perfect words, Logan must answer with action.
If the slight widening of his eyes or the furrow of his brow as he's charmed aren't enough, Logan wraps his arms around Chishiya tightly and kisses him. Lips meet roughly and he kisses deeply, but not for long. No, he shifts Chishiya off of him just enough so that he can slide to the edge of the couch, allowing him to lift Chishiya when he stands.
They've spent enough time on the couch. Logan needs them in his bedroom, and he needs to kiss Chishiya the whole way there.
Chishiya somehow looks even better on his bed.]
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The kiss burns, heat exploding outward until Chishiya tries to take a shuddering breath and fails, until Logan moves him - moves them- and the arms around him goes tighter as he's lifted clear off the couch.
Chishiya wraps his arms and legs around Logan on instinct, hard cock trapped between their bodies as Logan walks them... somewhere. It doesn't matter.
All that matters is Logan's mouth on his and the way desire soars through his mind at the easy way Logan carries him away.]
That's still- [Just before they reach the bed, before Logan gets a chance to put him down] so hot-
[Chishiya doesn't squirm, but he wants to. He wants to figure out if there's a way to have sex like this, or if Logan would just hold him against a wall and let Chishiya grind against his firm stomach until he comes.
Whiskey in his blood and nothing but Logan on his mind, Chishiya groans as he hits the bed, back arching.]
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You're so hot, [Logan counters as he crawls on top of Chishiya.] You're so gorgeous. [Kissing along Chishiya's collar and neck.] The way you look at me...
[It's enough to make Logan kiss Chishiya hungrily. His hands slip under Chishiya's top just to feel his body properly.]
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Like he's the exception to every rule Chishiya has made for himself since was old enough to create bounderies and enforce them?
It's not important enough to stop what they're doing to ask and he acrches in to Logan's hands and tangles his fingers in to the already wild hair until he can kiss Logan again.
Until he push his want in to every wet, sloppy kiss to Logan's perfect mouth.]
I want you so much--
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