Hosting a Bridgerton

[ridofthethrone]

There is no shortage of beautiful houses in London, if you're part of the aristocracy. Even a prince from a country as remote as Albion can keep a handsome residence within the city. It is, of course, the royal residence for his family rather than his alone. Which is why it's as large and well situated as it is, sitting a little further out than some of the smaller homes to account for its garden and unnecessarily large rooms.

Since his arrival, Logan has made strides in repairing and renovating the building to bring it back up to its former glory for the sake of maintaining appearances, and to ensure the building's longevity. It is not the largest or the most beautiful of buildings that England has to offer, but with Logan's help it is the best lit. Any guest will be hard pressed to find a room which cannot be swiftly lit beyond comparison once darkness falls.

Despite it being a perfect building for a ball, none have been hosted here since becoming part of Albion's royal estate. Eventually Logan suspects he will have to relent to that particular requirement. For now, however, he prefers solitude. And, perhaps, the very occasional, very specific guest.

Eloise's imminent arrival has sent a flurry of previously unknown activity through the building. There are rooms to be prepared, food to be made ready, and maids who will actually have a lady to look after for once. As soon as her carriage arrives Eloise is greeted by several of the staff standing ready.

Logan, dressed smartly in deep purple and black, stays put until his guest approaches whereupon he offers a shallow bow. "Welcome. I hope your journey was not too arduous."

Comments

No worries!

[ridofthethrone]

The small speech gets a raised eyebrow from the prince, but he doesn't comment. In fact, he emphasises its message with a lingering look to his staff once Eloise has moved on.

It feels strange to be bringing someone else into this world. Especially when there's no need to perform. Rather, Eloise might call him out for trying to. It's strange, but not uncomfortable, he finds.

When she finally speaks freely, the question she asks perplexes Logan for a moment. He considers the can't guard sprinkled through the building, some of whom are still very much loyal to him. Those servants who might not value their place as royal staff likely would still fear Logan's past penchant for ordering executions, which has since been further exaggerated.

"They'll keep our secret," he assures her after this momentary silence. In case that isn't reassuring enough he adds, "Staff in a royal household must be exceptionally discreet. In other houses a failure of discretion only comes with the threat of dismissal, not treason."

Re: No worries!

[bridgertons]

He has a point, and Eloise wants to tell him about the minutes that felt like hours when she sat with the Queen to talk about Lady Whistledown, but it doesn't seem like the right time. Instead, she confirms his statement with a hum and then takes another sip of her tea. There's a lot to take in. It's clear to her why her mother made such a fuss about learning what a wife would have to do once she had her own home.

Not that this was her home. But it was fun to think about it. "It must be comforting to have a staff that is so loyal to you. I do believe that my footman would do whatever I asked of him, but he would likely tell my mother if I did something truly unspeakable." There's a telling smile there, and Eloise is nearly thankful for her short, problematic friendship with Theo Sharpe.

"It really is beautiful here. You've done a wonderful job making it into your own. Is it my imagination or are the rooms perfectly it for reading?" Is is in her best interest to remain as ladylike as possible, but she does scoot a bit closer to him, drink in hand.

[ridofthethrone]

A small, amused huff of air escapes him at the talk of loyalty. Surely some of the staff would like nothing more than to report to their queen anything which might ship Logan back to Albion.

"They're loyal to the crown," he corrects. "Rest assured that if I did anything which might be of note, my sister, the queen, would hear of it. I have more freedom than you, but there are limits for everyone."

Polite platitudes are met with a pinched smile, until she make mention of the rooms being particularly designed for reading. They are well lit, after all, but that's a happy coincidence, and not one he's going to explain. As he considers it, he realises that she may very well be right.

"I suppose they are," he agrees thoughtfully. "When I'm not working in my study books are often my most common companions." After a second he elaborates, "Out of preference, rather than necessity, you understand."

Eager to move on from sounding unnecessarily lonely, he asks, "Are there not many places suited to reading in your family home?"

[bridgertons]

She understands perfectly. The Bridgerton household is large, but there are enough bodies to fill it and there is noise around every corner. Even on days when she wishes that she could stay in her room and avoid calling hours, she is dragged out by responsibility and guilt.

Perhaps if she’d paid more attention to her mother during conversations about courting and the process of knowing a man, she’d be better at deciding if she should move to sit closer to him or remain in her current position.

"There are many places to read. The complication is finding the quiet time to enjoy a novel on your own."

She pauses and then puts down her cup. "Logan, I would like nothing more than to sit by your side and not have furniture between us. Are you open to this idea?"

[ridofthethrone]

The directness of Eloise's request cuts the small talk, and Logan tilts his head at her curiously. "I am."

"I'm also sure that sitting beside me is not all you want." He can be direct too, when he wants to be. Sometimes directness isn't just to be accepted, but is needed. Now, he thinks, might be such a time.

"We've discussed my age before, and despite your insistence that it doesn't trouble you, it does mean that I have lived longer, and done more than you have had a chance to." Setting aside his own cup, he looks at her directly. "Which is to say, I've done things in the past you would not like. Things which, although I am a prince, may cause your family to hesitate in being happy that we are close. Are you... aware of such things?"

[bridgertons]

She waits for him to stop speaking before abandoning her spot. "I have heard whispers at balls, but women are generally left in the dark until they are married. Such gossip is either covered by Lady Whistledown or best overheard by our staff." She offers him a shrug before she sits down next to him, her body facing in his direction so that she forces herself to maintain eye contact.

"You may have lived longer, and you may be older, however I would appreciate if you discarded the notion that it might bother me. If you are speaking of that which might turn a man to the company of a courtesan, you are correct. I have no experience, and do not fault myself for that. If there are other things, it would be best if you found yourself comfortable enough with me to speak of them."

Her words feel foreign to her as soon as they leave her lips, but Eloise simply shrugs at him and sighs. "My family will be happy that I am happy. Daphne has already married a Duke. My mother has made it clear that her only important factor for any of her children is love."

[ridofthethrone]

The mention of courtesans prompts Logan to splutter in surprise. "No, that's not what I..." Although he doesn't have no experience in that area, so his words fade off. It wasn't what he was thinking of, though he should have known better. Those sorts of scandals are the most common in the Ton.

Logan takes a deep breath and turns to face her properly in turn. He can't help but feel pre-emptively apologetic, so sure that she won't want to be so close to him in the next moment.

"I did not think you would be concerned about my personal exploits. It is what I have done in my position I fear will disillusion you." She did say that he should feel able to tell her. His past isn't exactly a secret. How could it be? It affected a whole country. The only luck he's had is in his country being small enough to be uninteresting. If Eloise, or more likely the Viscount, investigated him, it wouldn't take much to discover who he is.

He decides to start with a question. "Are you aware that I was previously the king of Albion?"

[bridgertons]

His surprise gains a smile from her, and Eloise scoots closer to him on the couch as he talks. "I knew that you were king," she confirms. "Though I admit that I am not the best at history, and I take even less of an interest in foreign affairs than my mother wishes I did."

She realises that that sounded terrible, and Eloise scrambles to correct herself. "It isn't that I think that aristocracy is uninteresting, I just never thought that it would be a part of my life and elected not to give it much thought aside from what I was required to know."

[ridofthethrone]

It's not unexpected that she should know that he was king. The disregard for aristocracy which follows does garner more curiosity. Though his raised eyebrow doesn't go unnoticed as she hastily tries to explain herself.

He should be grateful, really. Better she doesn't care than she care too much. It would be truly awful to discover that she was drawn to his title rather than him as a person.

"You aren't aware of why I'm no longer king, then?"

It's a prying question. Even though Eloise has behaved impeccably through the hidden tests of interest and character, he is still wary. Wary, and curious to know how nobody might have warned her of his past. He finds himself wishing to have words with the Viscount. Eloise is not being protected enough.

[bridgertons]

"No. I am not."

Her tone isn't accusatory, but there's caution there. Asking her more than once if she's privy to information is a sure-fire way to rile a Bridgerton.

Eloise hesitates before reaching out and taking his hand. It's a big step for her, even if she's broken a dozen rules over the course of their potential courtship. Skin-to-skin contact is a forward move, one that she wasn't sure that she was ready to make until she walked through the entrance to his home and saw him waiting.

"Assume I know nothing, and if I do know something, I promise to tell you."

[ridofthethrone]

Logan nods, but he turns his palms to take Eloise's hands in his own, long fingers ever so gentle in their cradling. So that if she wishes to pull herself away in disgust it will be easier.

This part he hates. He hates that he has to do it. He hates that he's certain he will hurt Eloise with it. He hates that it will come between them at all. But he knows it will, and he knows he must tell her. Often these days he's been lost in thought wondering how he would explain it. That, at least, makes it a little easier.

"I ruled Albion for nine years. For five of those years I was a good ruler. I helped my people, I helped expand our trade, our diplomacy, our industry." The sigh escapes without him realising it. "And then I went on an expedition." Here he hesitates. He doesn't want to dwell on that time. "It... It was a disaster. All my men were killed. It was only by the kindness of the local people I was able to make it back home."

"But when I arrived home I was given a message. That the cause of my men's deaths was coming to Albion. That it would take five years for it to arrive, but it would come, and it would destroy everything, kill everyone." Realising his hands have tensed, he relaxes them again and shakes his head. "I had to prepare for its arrival. But in doing so, I became a tyrant."

Logan takes a deep breath and looks Eloise in the eye. "I evicted people from their land. I shut down schools and universities to save money. I raised taxes, of course. I allowed child labour, and increased legal working hours. And, eventually, I executed those who rebelled against me."

"It was my sister who overthrew me. Along with different allies she'd made. I refused to draw my sword against her, and when I was put on trial she spared my life, despite so many wanting me dead." His eyes slip away for a moment before he refocuses. They're near the end. He can push through this. "The danger did come, and it did cause a lot of destruction. But my sister defeated it, and saved Albion. I had stayed to help her, but once it was done I felt it best if I leave Albion. I'd hurt too many people, and she was more than capable to lead without my help."

[bridgertons]

Eloise doesn't pull away from him. Her hand remains in his, but her gaze drops while she thinks. So much of it makes sense now! All of his warnings, the stories about his sister, his reluctance to be close to her! Eloise knows that she's not a catch in the conventional sense: she's stubborn, disinterested in domestic arts and has her hesitations about children. Those things make her a less than ideal match for any man, but Logan never seemed to have much problem reminding her of why they would be important in a life with him.

"I think that, as difficult as it is to admit, everything until the executions could have been justified. Logan, I don't know what it takes to rule. It wasn't something I was born into. The choices that you made to protect your people were yours to make, and I cannot fault you for them. Especially knowing that you would change everything if you could."

Her hand tightens around his, and Eloise pulls herself closer to him. "My brothers have made choices that I have disagreed with. We have found ways past those disagreements and now find the time to laugh at them and remind each other of our differences. The people you hurt will have time to reflect, and while they may not forgive you, I would like to think that they would understand why you made the choices that you did to protect them."

She pauses and dips her head, a wry smile on her lips. "After all, Queen Charlotte threatened to ruin my family and life if I did not admit to being the famous Lady Whistledown. I am familiar with the actions a ruler would take to protect themselves and their kingdom, even if those actions are difficult and infuriating."

[ridofthethrone]

She takes the news with shocking ease. Executions aside, he'd been convinced that his momentary disregard for education would have earned him visible disapproval at the very least. Instead Eloise is stubbornly understanding, giving grace to the duty of a king which is so contrary to human nature. As she recounts her interaction with her own queen, Logan has to wonder if he should be grateful she went through such a learning experience. Otherwise she might not be so gracious.

Given that this conversation is already working out differently to how he imagined, Logan needs to take a moment to choose his words. When he does, it's to press the issue, since they're discussing it openly.

"I appreciate how understanding you are, but it's not something which can be taken lightly. My history makes things... complicated. It is more likely that I, or my family, will be subject to assassination attempts. Acts of revenge. I fear that even among high society my future partner will be subject to judgement and disapproval for choosing me. And then there is the matter of my children, who may the heirs to the throne if my sister doesn't settle down."

Logan sighs and shakes his head.

"I want nothing more than a simple life with my own family, but life with me will be anything but simple, or easy." Looking down at their hands, he watches his fingers brush her skin. "I am a prince of Albion first and foremost, and having lived this life I cannot recommend it. Nor do I wish to subject anyone else to it. Especially not someone I care for."

[bridgertons]

"You are right, of course."

Eloise's smile is a sad one, but it's also wise. As the daughter of a woman who raised her children with the help of staff and the Ton, Eloise has seen what a broken home looks like. Even one filled with all of the love in the world still has its cracks. What she suspects is that Logan only sees the worst outcomes, when Eloise has avoided them just by the sheer luck of being born into the right family.

"They will scorn us. They will judge me and think harshly of me, but they already do. The people in my own society do not understand me, and they barely regard me and only do so because of my last name. I have lived my life as a woman who intended to become a spinster, but that does not mean that I cannot appreciate other opportunities if they show themselves."

"So it will be complicated, and there may be dangers, but do you believe that there is a better choice than a Bridgerton? Yes, there may be, but I care about you. Not the throne, not the power, not the wealth. By bringing in a wife of a prestigious social caste, you are improving your own life. Things could become better. For both of us."

She sighs and reaches out for him, her hand finding his jaw. Her fingers rest there before trailing to his shoulder where they stall. "It is a favourable position for us both. And one that we should highly consider."

[ridofthethrone]

"That's it, then," he says quietly. To himself, really.

He's told her who he is, who he really is, and he's warned her of what he's done and what that means. Every downside he's raised she's swept aside with so many words. Already viewing these things as problems for them to tackle together. As a team. He never thought he'd get that.

It doesn't help with his desire to kiss her when she touches him. He closes his eyes and takes a breath to focus on something other than the wish for her hand to touch his collar. When he opens them again he tries to keep his gaze on hers.

"You realise that once I start courting you publicly, every eligible bachelor will want your attention? To say nothing of how your family will react."

[bridgertons]

"I received no less than six marriage proposals before we met," she confides, a proud smile sneaking into her lips. "The gentlemen who will come calling for me will try, and fail, to engage me in the many ways that you do. As for my family... Well," she trails off and closes her eyes. She needs to think and speak carefully, as she would never want to lie to him. She also doesn't wish to scare him away, and that's exactly what her brothers will do.

"Anthony, Benedict and Colin will do their best to pull us apart," she breathes, opening her eyes as she exhales the words. "They may not be as understanding as I am, but I do believe the Viscount will understand my position if he gives it more than just the initial, emotional thought."

A vision of Anthony, red in the face as he struggles for words is enough to amuse her, if not brighten her mood altogether. "How do you think your sister will respond to the news? And what makes you think that other ladies will not try to steal your affections?"

[ridofthethrone]

"Six?" He doesn't meant to sound quite so surprised, and when he hears himself he continues, "And not one of them appealed to you?"

It's oddly reassuring. Eloise knows her worth more than she lets on, which is saying something. That Logan isn't her first or only option bodes well too. She has been courted by others before he was even known properly to her, which only further reinforces that this connection is real. It's not some plan concocted by Eloise and her mother, or anyone worse.

"My sister... The court will want to investigate your family," he admits. "To ensure you aren't secretly allied to our hostile forces, or that you aren't helping me raise an army to retake the throne." Logan waves a hand dismissively. "I think my sister will be glad of me having a reason to stay put."

"As for other women, I have plenty to deter them," he assures her. He gestures vaguely to his mouth where the marks of his past adventures remain on full display. "Scars are not generally attractive, and I've perfected the art of being a dull conversationalist when necessary. Besides which, I will be too busy on the dance floor with you."

[bridgertons]

"Oh, so many things to answer."

Her smile is contagious and she can't help but raise her fingertips to the corner of his mouth. "Every body has scars, and I have never found a reason to look away from yours. You have lived a full story before we even met. It would be foolish of me to hold such a fact against you." Her own scars, while not obviously visible, did exist; some on her ankle from an errant branch during a romp through the woods, and a pock on her shoulder from the pox that ran through the family when the kids were young. She's tempted to drop the shoulder of her gown so that he can see, but it can wait. It can all wait.

"Your sister," she whispers, dropping her hand to his upper arm, "will find nothing, as I do not wish for either of us to take the throne unless it is required of us. I have no desire to rule anything other than my own life."

"And," Eloise adds, her head shaking, "not one of them suited me. I chose to remain alone than to enter into a marriage with someone who would not make me happy. I thought that it was the only reasonable decision to make. Have you extended many proposals? Surely someone before me was charming enough to gain your interest."

[ridofthethrone]

Logan's brow lifts at her touch. He is trying so hard to be good and she just keeps fearlessly touching him. Either she doesn't know how much she tempts him to kiss her, or she doesn't care.

"I have made no proposals. It wasn't important before, and now... I haven't been charmed by anyone else before you." Not that ladies didn't try. Often briefly, or out of desperation. Yet it is easier for men, since they can simply say they are not interested in marriage at this time and be left alone, which is exactly what Logan did.

There is a far more pressing issue, and he won't let it be brushed over. "Tell me, how am I to charm your brothers?"

[bridgertons]

Eloise's face scrunches up when he asks about her brothers and she pulls her hand back. The brow lift was certainly noticed, but she thinks it's best to not mention it and instead stick to the topic at hand. There's enough temptation in this manor to throw even the best-trained woman stray, and yet he wants to speak of her brothers?

"You will have an easier time with them than you think. Colin, for the most part, is rather disinterested in the affairs of his sisters and would prefer to talk to you about traveling. Benedict is closest to me in every day, but he is easily influenced in regards to love and romance. I do not think he will take much work, at all."

Anthony, though. Her thoughts stall and she sighs, closing her eyes. "The Viscount, while softened by his marriage to Kate, will need more convincing. He will not look past your choices while you were King and ask you how you will protect me from the people you wronged. He may even deny our engagement, but none of them are the ones you should truly concern yourself with."

Her eyes open and she smiles at him. "You should be most concerned with the Dowager Duchess."

[ridofthethrone]

As much as he enjoyed the brief connection between them, it does make it a little easier to focus when her hand falls away. The path ahead will not be easy. In fact it will be harder on Eloise, for even with her encounter with the rumour mill she hasn't endured the public flogging Logan has. Trying to convince her family of his good intentions will require persistence and care.

Hearing that the Viscount will be hard to sway isn't news, but the insights into what he might look for are appreciated. Logan has prepared himself for that much, and nods his understanding as she explains. That there's someone else more of note confuses him and he tilts his head just a little.

"The Dowager Duchess? Truly?"

[bridgertons]

Eloise laughs in delight at his reaction. "Yes, of course. My mama is the one that truly matters in all of this! Well, aside from you and I, of course. The Viscount can challenge our match and even threaten to withhold my dowry - two things that we can ignore, if we chose to. My mother, however, will not be ignored."

It might be easier if she goes through every scenario that her brothers and sister faced in their matches, but she holds that back. Too many details might be problematic. "She wants every single one of us to have a love match. If she knows that we are in love, which... Is ideal, of course, then she will have no choice but support our wishes."

[ridofthethrone]

The Viscount is a challenge Logan is sure he can overcome. He has swayed angrier audiences and reassured more uneasy minds than Antony Bridgerton. Besides, there is no concern over wealth or status to compound whatever protests may be used against them.

"Your brothers and sisters have found love matches?" Hopefully she will excuse his surprise. It's a rarity to come across one, nevermind so many all in a single family. "How did they manage with so many eyes on them all the time? I felt you and I were lucky to have secreted some time away for ourselves... They must truly wear their hearts on their sleeves..."

In saying this he concedes to a realisation he speaks to a second later. "That is not so surprising, I suppose. You speak your heart and mind. They must as well." He gives Eloise a somewhat apologetic look. "It's not something I have much practice in. So I've relied on our private conversations."

[bridgertons]

"I do not think that my siblings were as honest with their time as everyone thinks they were. Daphne and the Duke embraced in the garden before they were even engaged to be wed. I believe that Anthony and Kate shared intimacies before their wedding day, as well. You will find that I am not the only one in my family who as a flair for rebellion."

She takes that moment to move closer to him. There are no words spoken in these next few moments, as she's busy studying his face and the way that his hair falls. His breathing is a crucial thing to understand, and the point of his nose is something that Eloise must commit to memory. These small things are the things she is positive her mother imagines when she recalls Edmund. They have to be.

"I believe that I have also found a love match, Logan." Her hand reaches out for his arm and she lets it stall, her fingernails toying with the fabric of his shirt.

[ridofthethrone]

Logan's brow rises at the revelations Eloise offers. It explains a lot about why she's so fearless in her pursuit. Of the two of them he seems by far the more cautious. Although perhaps Eloise is simply more practiced at disguising her concern. A part of Logan can't help but ensure to remember what she tells him. Cruel as it might be, there is the possibility that should Eloise's family become troublesome, a little reminder of these things might cause them to dismount any high horse they perch upon. This, however, is an unkind thought. One from a part of him he feels must rest firmly with his past. For Eloise's sake, if nothing else.

His hand takes hers so that he can hold it warmly as he finds his words. And they do need to be found, for they don't come easily.

"I must confess something, Eloise," he tells her gently. "I fear you may find me a coward in my hesitancy. I have loved my parents, and lost them both. I have loved friends, and lost them all. I love my sister, and my country, and lost their love in turn."

With a sigh he turns his troubled brow to Eloise. "So I fear that in loving you some terrible fate might befall you also."

[bridgertons]

The softness on her face does not falter as he speaks. The fine lines around her mouth turn from a smile into a frown, but she changes her position on the couch so that she can pull him close. A gentle tug pulls him close, and Eloise offers her lap for him to rest his head, if he so chooses.

"Oh, Logan." It's barely above a whisper, but her words are full of emotion. "I was with my father when he passed. I have faced the days since with a resolve to not fear what will come for us all, as there's nothing to be done about it other than live."

She doesn't have experience with the rest of it, but her hand remains in his as she takes a breath, her grey eyes watching him. He is a man, yes, but he is also a boy and a soldier and so many things mixed into one body and mind. "It must be so impossible to be you," she sighs, shaking her head. "I always thought that my life was most complicated, but I can admit that I know nothing about complication. But I know that your fear should not keep you from living a life that might actually make you happy."

[ridofthethrone]

No one has offered such gentleness to him in a long time. For long enough that he'd learned many years ago not to seek it out or hope for it. Though he allows himself to be pulled close, partly out of uncertainty, he doesn't go so far as to lay his head on her lap. That would be too much, surely. He is already showing enough weakness as it is.

Eloise is being so kind to him. He doesn't want to bring such dark concerns to her. It would be easy to point out that the voices cheering for his execution were louder than those that didn't, which makes 'living' a somehow controversial move. Besides, he's not concerned about himself. He's concerned about what might happen to her should she so much as associate with him.

"It makes me happy to know you are happy, and full of life. It often feels as if I have a cursed touch. As if I must find where the line of my happiness stops just short of being a detriment to what I care most about." Logan is silent for a moment before he looks at Eloise. "I won't let you down. I won't let fear stop me from doing as I wish. But I feel it nonetheless, and you wished me to be honest with you. All my hesitation is not caused by you, never by you, but by the fear of what might become of you should I persevere."

[bridgertons]

For as intelligent as Eloise often considers herself to be, there is often something left in the background of her mind that is crucial to a conversation. It might be that the day is of significant importance or that she was meant to do something that she promised her mama, but this time the truth hit her so severely and suddenly that she felt like she might be sick.

Her arms wrap around him as much as they can before she rests her chin on his arm and nods. It makes sense now, and the smile that she had been holding for so long now fades from her face before she speaks.

"You mean that you worry that they will kill me."

It truly hadn't occurred to her. She considered many ways that people from his land might hurt both of them to get back at Logan for his actions, but the thought of them killing her to prove a point was so far from her mind that it was never treated as a possibility. Now that the thought has entered her mind, it is the only thing she could see that would truly hold him back, and it scares her. Death, and the fact that he would keep himself from her to avoid it.

"Surely you do not mean for something as eventual as death to keep us apart."

[ridofthethrone]

"Yes." The confirmation is low and quiet, but definite.

The idea that someone might seek her out to hurt him is one which has plagued him. It has grown in his mind like choking brambles as each possibility has been considered. Were they to begin a family, there are those who hate him so much that they might seek to end the life of his wife and children, simply to remove any trace of him in the world. Or if not against him personally, then the royal line, or the only known line of Heroes.

"The number of attempts on my life outside of battle rivals how many proposals you have had. If I were to be the cause of your death, in any way, I couldn't bear it."

At least if she married someone else if were she to die in childbirth he could avenge her. What could he do if he were her husband? How could he not hold himself responsible? If her family asked him if Eloise would be safe with him, he couldn't give them the answer they want. The answer they deserve.

"I think about it constantly. I want for you to live a long and happy life, and I fear I might not be able to give that to you."

[bridgertons]

Eloise sits with this. Her hands are gentle as they travel across the fabric of his shirt. She's trying her best to think the situation through and find an answer to problems that can't be solved, but that won't stop her from wanting to try. The stubborn Bridgerton trait is no mere rumour, after all.

As she speaks, her words are soft and slow. By nature, Eloise is not comforting or nurturing. She lacks the finesse that most women seem to have naturally.

"I would rather have a life of caution in abundance than choose to not be with you at all."

She sighs and shakes her head. "Is there truly no convincing you that I am willing to walk into a life with you even if if means enduring difficulties? Do you think that the best place for me is a safe palace with no challenges and a life that is so safe that I one day wonder if I have actually lived?"

[ridofthethrone]

Logan sighs in turn and sits up, pondering the difficulty they find themselves in.

"I fear that you believe that now, that you would choose this, but that a lifetime of it will make you resentful. If I were another man, I could release you from such a thing, but as a prince... Once you are my wife, you will always be my wife." And just saying that aloud makes him thrum with joy and knot with worry.

Looking at her, his troubled gaze scans over her face and he lifts a hand to brush the hair away from her eyes. How nice to be able to touch her freely like this. How lovely.

"What will we do if you regret this choice?"

[bridgertons]

Her voice is calm and her tone carries steady conviction. She does not reach for him, but her presence is quiet and sure. “You think that fear makes you less, but it does not. It only means that you care enough to want to keep someone who matters to you safe. I think most people would call that human.”

She looks at the floor for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I will not let fear make my choices for me. The world is uncertain, and it always will be, but we cannot stop living because of that. We can still choose to move forward, even when it feels impossible.”

Eloise lets out a slow breath. “You have faced more than most, but you are still here. That is not weakness, Logan. That is strength. I hope you are able to see that, with me.”

[ridofthethrone]

She still wants to be with him. Regardless of what she might regret in later years. Regardless of the risk of tragedy. What else can he do but accept it, embrace it? He could insist that they part, for her sake. And then what? He stays alone forever? Or he marries someone who he cares less for? Could he really do that to someone? Perhaps. If he had no choice. But he does have a choice.

There is enough standing in their way without him doing the same.

Logan takes her hands in his, patting hers gently before he looks her in the eye. "If you are certain, which it seems you are, then I will court you properly, Eloise Bridgerton. I will give you all that I have."

[bridgertons]

Eloise feels his hands close around hers, and her first instinct is to pull back. For most of her life she has avoided anything that felt like it might trap her. She has watched others rush toward marriage while she stood apart, certain that such things were not meant for her. The idea of tying her future to someone has always made her uneasy, as if she might lose herself in the process. As if she would lose everything that ever made her Eloise Bridgerton in the first place.

But she does not pull away now.

“I am certain,” she says, though her voice is quiet at first. “You know I never planned for this. I never expected to want something like this at all. Most days the thought of marriage or courtship still makes my stomach twist.” She pauses, steadying her breath. “However.”

Her fingers tighten gently around his, a sign of resolve rather than comfort. “If you wish to court me, then I will meet you in that choice. I will not only meet you, I will run toward it. I feel like this is the first choice I've made for myself that's challenged me to actually hold every possibility in my mind. You. You are that choice.”

She holds his gaze without looking away. “I am nervous. But I am ready.”

[ridofthethrone]

One of these days he'll get used to Eloise's ramblings, and wait until she finishes instead of hanging on to every word. For a moment he thinks that it isn't just marriage or courtship as a concept which distresses her, but the one offers. Then she continues, clarifies, and he relaxes again.

When she finishes speaking her resolve aloud, Logan smiles and though he resists kissing her on the lips he presses a kiss firmly to her forehead. It's all he can do to focus his energy, forgetting that they're not under scrutinising eyes as they were at the fair.

"And I choose you in turn," he assures her. "I wish for nothing more than to begin making plans to ensure you and the world know that wholeheartedly, even though it is too late to act. I am afraid I'm not sure where to go from here, in this very moment."