[Chishiya hums, head tipped back and his whole upper body resting against Logan.
The hand on his arm is warm.
He exhales through his nose and opens his eyes.]
I'm going to get drunk enough to turn my mind off for a few hours and possibly make an ass of myself during it.
[Not by oversharing, but by being himself.
Quiet and observing, one hand on his knee and the other holding on to Logan's shirt.
Chishiya thinks he came for the distraction. For the sound of someone else breathing in the quiet of a room. For the warmth of Logan's skin and the way the scent of him fills Chishiya with something close to being content.
[Just that once and Chishiya would almost bet money on Logan being distracted at the time. By the dark and by Chishiya's wandering hands. By the beat of the club and later, by naked skin and Chishiya's utter lack of preparedness.
He stretches against Logan before sitting up to mix another drink.
Sweet and smokey, the alcohol comes on the aftertaste. Sharp and it glides down hot as he drinks half before turning to watch Logan.]
What do you want to do?
[Calm and careful, with his glass in hand.
Logan in the light, and that's how he always looks when Chishiya tries to remember him. Haloed by light and just a hint of disheveled around the edges.
[Logan is still going to count it. Just because he was distracted doesn't mean he didn't see it.
He watches Chishiya mix his drink. Watches him drink too much in one go, and then look at him. All pretty and seductive and teasing.
Logan takes a swig from his wine, leaving little more than dregs as he sits up and puts the glass on the table. Leaning forward, he strokes Chishiya's cheek with the back of his hand, knuckles running over the curve of his cheek.]
[Like Logan, Chishiya drains his glass and he does it without dislodging Logan's hand on his cheek.
He pushes it to the table.]
You looked distracted. And I wasn't that drunk.
[His head swims as the heat of whiskey hits his bloodstream and Chishiya shudders slightly.]
That's a vague answer. I don't even know what makes me happy.
[But his hand comes up to grab Logan's hand before he can pull it back. Fingers curling around to hold it before Chishiya moves to slide his mouth over the thin skin of Logan's wrist.]
[Chishiya's eyebrow goes up and he grins, teeth nipping the soft skin under his mouth before he leans forward to put his mouth on Logan's instead.
He sighs at the first contact, slotting their lips together before shuffling around until he's in Logan's lap. Knees pressing in to the couch and against Logan's thighs.
Logan tastes like wine, fruity and slightly bitter against the honey still on Chishiya's tongue and Chishiya hums, deepening the kiss.]
[Once released, Logan's hand slips through to rake through Chishiya's hair. His other hand slides across Chishiya's lower back and pulls him closer when he straddles Logan.
A slow, contented sigh slips out of him, and he keeps the kisses steady. Not too light, not very deep. Gentle as he tastes the honey on Chishiya's lips, on his tongue. Relaxed but restrained. So they can be comfortable, so Chishiya can be distracted, but that it doesn't end too quickly.
Chishiya wants to be drunk. Wants to be distracted. Logan can do that, and he can make sure Chishiya is safe and comfortable at the same time.]
[He's already well on his way of achieving his first goal of tonight - getting drunk. It sloshes pleasantly in his stomach, roiling in his head and kissing only makes the sense of the room spinning more intense.
Chishiya sinks his teeth in to Logan's bottom lip for a moment, holding the pressure until he can suck it in to his mouth to lick over it with small flicks of his tongue.
Only then does he put his hands on Logan's shoulders, sliding his right in to Logan's hair with a small sound.]
[Logan's hand curls, tightening around a fistful of hair, pulling it just a little without forcing Chishiya's head to move. Just enough to answer Chishiya's teeth.
He pulls away, settling back further into the couch. In part to get more comfortable, but also to tease. To take his lip back from Chishiya's teeth, and give him room to nip Chishiya's lower lip and retreat again.]
You taste sweet.
[It's like a secret. One which makes Logan smile. Chishiya doesn't look sweet, but that's how he tastes. A secret Logan gets to keep for himself.]
[And still, it's a taste Chishiya wants more of. Even if it's not sweet as syrup or tinged with vanilla. He makes a noise low in his throat to answer the hand in his hair, and the gentle teeth on his mouth.
Pulling against the hold even if it stings across his scalp, Chishiya chases Logan's mouth until he can claim it in another kiss, just as deep as the last, and just as needy.
Pushing down, hips canting and Chishiya breathing goes a little ragged.]
[The tilt of Chishiya's hips makes Logan's breath stutter as he kisses back. His hand curls at Chishiya's back, grabbing a handful of his shirt.
This is different. It feels different. Chishiya hadn't talked about teasing, about drawing desire out until it had become unbearable.
Perhaps it was enough that this was in place of a club. Alcohol and sex. Distraction. Maybe that's all he wants. All he cares about.
Logan kisses back, his hand shifting to Chishiya's cheek. Trying to gently keep Chishiya from deepening the kisses too quickly. From indulging too much too fast. Trying to allow his own kisses to tease, pecking and sucking on Chishiya's lips.]
[Somewhere in the back of his mind, Chishiya can admit to having missed this. That he's missed this since the second they stopped the last time.
That he spends entirely too much time thinking about it. About how Logan feels, how every shallow kiss makes his breath hitch with longing and how the warm thigs pressed against his makes fire lick slowly up his spine to set his mildly intoxicated brain on fire.
The whiskey dulls the parts of him that sinks in to the grey, that wants to stay disconnected and floating above it all. It lets him feel it, every teasing peck that makes his throat feel tight and every brush of Logan's mouth that makes him want more.
Chishiya's mouth skates across Logan's mouth, to trail wet, sloppy kisses over his cheeks and down the side of his neck, dragging his teeth over the hard slope of muscle with a soft groan.]
[Teeth scrape across his neck and Logan gasps, tilting his head away to give Chishiya more skin. His back arches to press against the man on top of him, fingers tightening in their grip.]
Chishiya...
[Then his fingers relax and his hands move, settling on Chishiya's hips. Keeping them steady as he shifts, pressing up against Chishiya.
He missed Chishiya too. He's been trying to be polite. Proper. Understanding. He's not used to that involving getting hot and heavy.]
Are you sure you want this right now?
[Logan barely knows why he's asking. Distracted, eyes glazed over at the sensation of Chishiya's lips on him.]
[Logan moves like a slow wave under him and Chishiya rises with it, thighs clamping tight around Logan's hips as he slides an inch closer. Until they're pressed as close s they possibly could be at his center of gravity and Chishiya huffs a small laugh over the skin near his lips.]
We don't have to do anything more than this.
[Kissing. Being kisses. Skin against his mouth as he peppers more kisses up Logan' neck neck. Tongue curling around an earlobe.]
Feeling you is enough.
[The slow-burn of 'almost enough'. Where every shift of his hips brings them closer together to feed the fire in his stomach.]
[Logan hums, letting the fretting thoughts of not being able to keep it to just this, or if that's what Chishiya wants, fade away. The tongue tickling his ear is far too distracting. The small parting and then pressure of each shift of their hips is too distracting.
His fingers curl again, and he turns his head to brush his nose against Chishiya's neck. Close to a kiss, but not quite.]
Can you come here after every shift? So we can drink... and feel each other...
[Like the way Chishiya's eyelashes tickle Logan's cheek. Or the heat of his breathing against Logan's skin.]
However we want to.
[Logan inhales slowly, deeply, running his hands up Chishiya's back and then down along his thighs.]
The weight of each other, the clothes we wear, the body beneath those clothes... [He kisses Chishiya's neck.] How soft your skin is, your hair... I can't pick just one way.
Mmm - [It's a low hum and it catches in his throat, head tilting to give Logan more room on his neck.
In return, Chishiya tightens his hand in Logan's hair.]
We have time for more than one way. [Slow exploration and Chishiya smiles, eyes closing as his free hand finds its way to the open collar of Logan's shirt, the back of his fingers brushing over the exposed skin and up to linger near the spot where Logan's pulse is close enough to the surface for him to feel it.
A steady beat, hammering as hard as his own heartbeat.] If I come over more often. Or if you come to mine. If it wasn't a risk every time right now.
[The chuckle Chishiya wants to let out is cut short as soon as he feels teeth on his throat and it stutters out like a soft moan instead.]
Don't take risks. [Even if Chishiya coming here was a calculated one. That he wasn't in deep enough yet, that no one had noticed anything different about him as soon as the child was moved to the recovery ward.
When he didn't have to keep pretending to care more than he actually did.
The whispers never stopped, but they did move on. To Komiko's new boyfriend, to the newest addition to the surgical team and the fresh-faced medical students two floors down. Even if attention slipped away from him and on to more exciting gossip. It would still cling to him for years.
He tips his head down to look back at Logan once the kissing stops-]
We already are.
[And he pops open the next button on Logan's shirt.]
[Don't take risks, Chishiya says. As if it's that simple. As if he doesn't constantly think about how to arrange 'accidental' meetups, or how to sneak over to Chishiya's apartment without being seen.
As if he doesn't want to keep Chishiya here in his arms forever.
The soft pop of the button, and Chishiya's unwavering gaze, sends fire rolling through Logan. This time when he kisses Chishiya it's hard and insistent, no longer pulling away to tease or draw things out.
All desire to take things slow melts away when he sees Chishiya's eyes, dark, beautiful, and full of want. His hands pull Chishiya closer, hips tight against each other. Doing everything he can to show what he wants to say, if his mouth weren't preoccupied with Chishiya's.]
[Chishiya's hips roll of their own accord, slow and tight, pressing them together and creating the most delicious friction that burns up his spine and sets the back of his neck on fire.
Heat, flickering across his skin and Chishiya cups Logan's face in his hands, thumbs brushing over his ears. Kissing back like oxygen is a choice and kissing Logan isn't, pushing every time he's wanted to do this in the past week, and couldn't, in to the longing of it.
Hard and deep, tongue licking in to Logan's mouth to chase the taste of wine.]
[Logan groans each time Chishiya rolls his hips, digging his fingers into the flesh of Chishiya's ass.
He sucks on Chishiya's tongue, meeting it with his own. Breathing hard through his nose so he doesn't have to break the connection.
This is so long overdue. In the grand scheme of things, they've barely spent any time apart, but it's still been excruciating. Chishiya has become an essential part of his life, as necessary as food or water, but far more desired.]
[Every sound Logan makes hits like a punch, or another drink, and Chishiya's head spins with it. With absence and with having Logan right where he wants him; under him, in a couch that won't make their spins hurt or legs go numb after a prolonged period of time.
Has him right in his hands and under his slowly rolling hips and Chishiya sighs in to the kiss, a heavy exhale that skates over Logan's mouth as he breaks the kiss enough to drag air in to his lungs.
Panting, Chishiya turns Logan's face up to meet his waiting mouth again, to kiss him through the gasps and small sounds Chishiya can't help making.]
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The hand on his arm is warm.
He exhales through his nose and opens his eyes.]
I'm going to get drunk enough to turn my mind off for a few hours and possibly make an ass of myself during it.
[Not by oversharing, but by being himself.
Quiet and observing, one hand on his knee and the other holding on to Logan's shirt.
Chishiya thinks he came for the distraction. For the sound of someone else breathing in the quiet of a room. For the warmth of Logan's skin and the way the scent of him fills Chishiya with something close to being content.
Or less empty.]
What do you want to do?
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You won't make an ass of yourself.
[Turning his mind off. Logan's quiet for a few moments as he considers how he can help that.]
I always enjoy taking to you. Or we could watch something. Or I could read you a book in my native language.
[Calm things. Easy distractions. Something that might allow Chishiya to drift off to sleep.
Nuzzling into Chishiya again, he lowers his voice and teases,] I would suggest kissing, but it's hard to get drunk that way.
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[Just that once and Chishiya would almost bet money on Logan being distracted at the time. By the dark and by Chishiya's wandering hands. By the beat of the club and later, by naked skin and Chishiya's utter lack of preparedness.
He stretches against Logan before sitting up to mix another drink.
Sweet and smokey, the alcohol comes on the aftertaste. Sharp and it glides down hot as he drinks half before turning to watch Logan.]
What do you want to do?
[Calm and careful, with his glass in hand.
Logan in the light, and that's how he always looks when Chishiya tries to remember him. Haloed by light and just a hint of disheveled around the edges.
He smiles, head cocked to the side.]
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[Logan is still going to count it. Just because he was distracted doesn't mean he didn't see it.
He watches Chishiya mix his drink. Watches him drink too much in one go, and then look at him. All pretty and seductive and teasing.
Logan takes a swig from his wine, leaving little more than dregs as he sits up and puts the glass on the table. Leaning forward, he strokes Chishiya's cheek with the back of his hand, knuckles running over the curve of his cheek.]
I want to make you happy. In whatever way I can.
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[Like Logan, Chishiya drains his glass and he does it without dislodging Logan's hand on his cheek.
He pushes it to the table.]
You looked distracted. And I wasn't that drunk.
[His head swims as the heat of whiskey hits his bloodstream and Chishiya shudders slightly.]
That's a vague answer. I don't even know what makes me happy.
[But his hand comes up to grab Logan's hand before he can pull it back. Fingers curling around to hold it before Chishiya moves to slide his mouth over the thin skin of Logan's wrist.]
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[Logan very nearly shudders too, Chishiya's lips tickling his wrist and sending a wave of goosebumps up along his arm.]
You know some things that make you happy.
[He flexes his fingers so that they stroke Chishiya's cheek again.]
Doesn't it make you happy when I kiss you?
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He sighs at the first contact, slotting their lips together before shuffling around until he's in Logan's lap. Knees pressing in to the couch and against Logan's thighs.
Logan tastes like wine, fruity and slightly bitter against the honey still on Chishiya's tongue and Chishiya hums, deepening the kiss.]
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A slow, contented sigh slips out of him, and he keeps the kisses steady. Not too light, not very deep. Gentle as he tastes the honey on Chishiya's lips, on his tongue. Relaxed but restrained. So they can be comfortable, so Chishiya can be distracted, but that it doesn't end too quickly.
Chishiya wants to be drunk. Wants to be distracted. Logan can do that, and he can make sure Chishiya is safe and comfortable at the same time.]
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Chishiya sinks his teeth in to Logan's bottom lip for a moment, holding the pressure until he can suck it in to his mouth to lick over it with small flicks of his tongue.
Only then does he put his hands on Logan's shoulders, sliding his right in to Logan's hair with a small sound.]
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He pulls away, settling back further into the couch. In part to get more comfortable, but also to tease. To take his lip back from Chishiya's teeth, and give him room to nip Chishiya's lower lip and retreat again.]
You taste sweet.
[It's like a secret. One which makes Logan smile. Chishiya doesn't look sweet, but that's how he tastes. A secret Logan gets to keep for himself.]
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[And still, it's a taste Chishiya wants more of. Even if it's not sweet as syrup or tinged with vanilla. He makes a noise low in his throat to answer the hand in his hair, and the gentle teeth on his mouth.
Pulling against the hold even if it stings across his scalp, Chishiya chases Logan's mouth until he can claim it in another kiss, just as deep as the last, and just as needy.
Pushing down, hips canting and Chishiya breathing goes a little ragged.]
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This is different. It feels different. Chishiya hadn't talked about teasing, about drawing desire out until it had become unbearable.
Perhaps it was enough that this was in place of a club. Alcohol and sex. Distraction. Maybe that's all he wants. All he cares about.
Logan kisses back, his hand shifting to Chishiya's cheek. Trying to gently keep Chishiya from deepening the kisses too quickly. From indulging too much too fast. Trying to allow his own kisses to tease, pecking and sucking on Chishiya's lips.]
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That he spends entirely too much time thinking about it. About how Logan feels, how every shallow kiss makes his breath hitch with longing and how the warm thigs pressed against his makes fire lick slowly up his spine to set his mildly intoxicated brain on fire.
The whiskey dulls the parts of him that sinks in to the grey, that wants to stay disconnected and floating above it all. It lets him feel it, every teasing peck that makes his throat feel tight and every brush of Logan's mouth that makes him want more.
Chishiya's mouth skates across Logan's mouth, to trail wet, sloppy kisses over his cheeks and down the side of his neck, dragging his teeth over the hard slope of muscle with a soft groan.]
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Chishiya...
[Then his fingers relax and his hands move, settling on Chishiya's hips. Keeping them steady as he shifts, pressing up against Chishiya.
He missed Chishiya too. He's been trying to be polite. Proper. Understanding. He's not used to that involving getting hot and heavy.]
Are you sure you want this right now?
[Logan barely knows why he's asking. Distracted, eyes glazed over at the sensation of Chishiya's lips on him.]
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We don't have to do anything more than this.
[Kissing. Being kisses. Skin against his mouth as he peppers more kisses up Logan' neck neck. Tongue curling around an earlobe.]
Feeling you is enough.
[The slow-burn of 'almost enough'. Where every shift of his hips brings them closer together to feed the fire in his stomach.]
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His fingers curl again, and he turns his head to brush his nose against Chishiya's neck. Close to a kiss, but not quite.]
Can you come here after every shift? So we can drink... and feel each other...
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I can't drink the day before a shift.
[Shifts are hard enough without adding a potential hangover in to the mix. He's only drinking now because he's got nowhere to be tomorrow.
He smiles against Logan's cheek, close enough that he can feel his eyelashes catching against his face.]
Feel each other how?
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[Like the way Chishiya's eyelashes tickle Logan's cheek. Or the heat of his breathing against Logan's skin.]
However we want to.
[Logan inhales slowly, deeply, running his hands up Chishiya's back and then down along his thighs.]
The weight of each other, the clothes we wear, the body beneath those clothes... [He kisses Chishiya's neck.] How soft your skin is, your hair... I can't pick just one way.
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In return, Chishiya tightens his hand in Logan's hair.]
We have time for more than one way. [Slow exploration and Chishiya smiles, eyes closing as his free hand finds its way to the open collar of Logan's shirt, the back of his fingers brushing over the exposed skin and up to linger near the spot where Logan's pulse is close enough to the surface for him to feel it.
A steady beat, hammering as hard as his own heartbeat.] If I come over more often. Or if you come to mine. If it wasn't a risk every time right now.
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That gentle touch across his collar makes Logan's heart ache beautifully.]
You make me want to take risks. [The slow scratch of teeth in a bite that isn't quite taken, and then a kiss instead.] But we can't.
[With a slow inhale, he straightens to look at Chishiya.] That means we should make the most of the time we do have together, doesn't it?
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Don't take risks. [Even if Chishiya coming here was a calculated one. That he wasn't in deep enough yet, that no one had noticed anything different about him as soon as the child was moved to the recovery ward.
When he didn't have to keep pretending to care more than he actually did.
The whispers never stopped, but they did move on. To Komiko's new boyfriend, to the newest addition to the surgical team and the fresh-faced medical students two floors down. Even if attention slipped away from him and on to more exciting gossip. It would still cling to him for years.
He tips his head down to look back at Logan once the kissing stops-]
We already are.
[And he pops open the next button on Logan's shirt.]
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As if he doesn't want to keep Chishiya here in his arms forever.
The soft pop of the button, and Chishiya's unwavering gaze, sends fire rolling through Logan. This time when he kisses Chishiya it's hard and insistent, no longer pulling away to tease or draw things out.
All desire to take things slow melts away when he sees Chishiya's eyes, dark, beautiful, and full of want. His hands pull Chishiya closer, hips tight against each other. Doing everything he can to show what he wants to say, if his mouth weren't preoccupied with Chishiya's.]
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Heat, flickering across his skin and Chishiya cups Logan's face in his hands, thumbs brushing over his ears. Kissing back like oxygen is a choice and kissing Logan isn't, pushing every time he's wanted to do this in the past week, and couldn't, in to the longing of it.
Hard and deep, tongue licking in to Logan's mouth to chase the taste of wine.]
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He sucks on Chishiya's tongue, meeting it with his own. Breathing hard through his nose so he doesn't have to break the connection.
This is so long overdue. In the grand scheme of things, they've barely spent any time apart, but it's still been excruciating. Chishiya has become an essential part of his life, as necessary as food or water, but far more desired.]
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Has him right in his hands and under his slowly rolling hips and Chishiya sighs in to the kiss, a heavy exhale that skates over Logan's mouth as he breaks the kiss enough to drag air in to his lungs.
Panting, Chishiya turns Logan's face up to meet his waiting mouth again, to kiss him through the gasps and small sounds Chishiya can't help making.]
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